And then she turned up, in the middle of a night just after Dorian had stopped even half expecting her. For a while she just stood outside the door despite the heavy rain, mustering courage. She still remembered Dorian's coldness from when she last saw him, she knew he had every right to be angry at her, but she had to try. She was afraid of her father - and of Liam - even more than she could ever fear Dorian.
After a few agonising minutes she took a deep breath, walked inside the house and fell at Dorian's feet, proclaiming her undying love and devotion. She was unworthy, she had failed him, but if love wasn't enough, what was?
"Stop that and get up. What do you want?"
Her lovers cold tone was killing her. "I just..."
"I said, get up! For Watcher's sake, are you as stupid as you are useless?"
Alean scrambled to her feet quickly, afraid to make Dorian even more angry. But, impossible as it looked now, she had to try.
"Please... I am sorry, but... please..."
She took two tiny steps towards Dorian and took his hands in her own. His expression didn't change but he didn't flinch away, even though she had expected him to, and this fact alone gave her hope.
And then it poured out of her in one breath: "I have ran away from home and I am never going back. Father has threatened to send me to a convent if I disobey him again, or just throw me out to the streets, and when he finds out what we did he will never take me back, please, I can't hide it for much longer, will you marry me?"
"Wait. Did you at least take something from the keep with you? Is there any dowry at all?"
"But that would be stealing!"
"So you barge here in the middle of the night, empty-handed, poorer than any peasant girl and expect me to do... what?"
"To... to take care of your child." Alean was almost crying at that point. She had never expected her beloved to be so cold, so calculating. "Please, I will do anything. I will learn to work, I will be a good wife, I promise. This dress can't hide the child much longer and and after he finds out my father will send me away..."
Dorian looked at her, so humble, so pathetic. But maybe it was exactly her humility that made him not chase her away. Here was someone who would always obey him, always look up to him, no matter what he did. And, loath as he was to admit it, maybe there actually was something in those puppy eyes of hers that he didn't want to completely destroy.
Maybe her father would change his mind eventually, if not for the girl than for his new grandchild.
"All right. I will do it." He said finally.
Alean stared at him, unsure at first if she had heard right. Then she threw herself into his arms, weeping tears of joy and relief.
They visited the church as soon after that as they could. The girl had been right, her pregnancy was already impossible to hide despite her loose dress. Dorian just hoped it would make the priest more sympathetic at her plight rather than angry at her disobedience.
As soon as they arrived at the church, the girl headed straight for the donations bowl, digging for one of the very few coins she had. Dorian approached her only cautiously, remembering far too clearly his own previous experience with the bowl and its aftermath. But it had to be just a coincidence then, because nothing seemed to have happened to the girl.
Now came the difficult part, making peace with the meddlesome priest.
Dorian summoned all his acting talent and put on his humblest and most penitent face when he approached him, the girl trailing behind with an uncertain smile.
"Please, Father, would you marry us? We know we have done wrong, but we have come to ask the Watcher for forgiveness and for a new beginning... we want to do things right this time."
Dorian smiled, hoping the priest would buy it.
Father Ambrose wanted to trust Dorian. He looked sincere, seemed to truly regret his previous mistakes... he seemed more genuine than the last time, but that didn't have to mean that much. The priest just hoped he wasn't one of the types who always promise to reform and never do. Or simply a good actor who never means what he says.
Either way, this wasn't only about Dorian and there was no doubts about little Alean behind him being sincere. After all, she would be the one hurt most by his potential refusal.
So, finally, Ambrose smiled at Dorian and nodded. "The Watcher always rewards good intentions. I will perform the ceremony."
When the pair knelt before him to receive his blessing, father Ambrose had to smile. At that moment at least they looked humble enough, both in their everyday clothes with only Alean's hair done up to celebrate the occasion, the girl visibly heavy with a child.
At that moment at least, he could bless them with clear conscience and Watcher would take care of the rest. Maybe little Alean would be a good influence on her new husband...
The ceremony itself was as simple as their attire. Ambrose read out the necessary words, the pair recited their wows and exchanged simple rings. Dorian's face was undecipherable, but Alean was beaming with happiness and hope for the future.
The pain started just after they got back from the church.
Alean had tried to ignore it at first, but it was growing fast and when she felt wetness run down her legs, the pain was already almost unbearable.
She gasped for breath, trying hard not to scream. "Help! I... I think I'm dying!"
"It's the baby. Hold on, everything will be fine." At first Alean didn't know where the voice came from, only that it somehow penetrated the pain and her panic.
At the moment it felt like a punishment, but afterwards, Alean was sure the Watcher must have sent the older woman to save her life.
Maraia got her inside, told her to breathe deeply and then did her best to calm her down as Alean pushed desperately and screamed in pain. It was only her voice, calm and reassuring, that got the young girl through the whole ordeal, when the pain was so bad she though she just couldn't make it.
And then it was over and Alean held a tiny bundle in her arms - her newborn baby daughter.
"She is... beautiful." Alean stared at the baby, still weak and dizzy and still unable to believe what had just happened. That she had really created new life. "But... will she be all right? She is so small..."
"She looks health enough. She was born early, but she should be just fine. Hopefully..."
Maraia surveyed the humble house and noted there was no crib or anything else prepared for the baby, but she tried hard not to let it spoil her joy. Both mother and child were alive and healthy and that was the important part, especially with a girl as young and slender as Alean was.
"What will you call her?"
This was a question Alean was unprepared for. She had never really dared think about her baby as a person before, only as something that would get her punished harshly.
In the end she said the first thing that came into her mind, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew they were the right ones: "Call her Alysanne. After my mother."
Soon after the rushed wedding, the family got an unexpected guest.
Liam stood before the door for some time, unsure whether he wanted to berate his sister for running off and her new husband for daring to touch nobility and ruining his sister's life, or whether he wanted to make peace with them.
Then he grew suddenly afraid that someone might see him from a window and think him weak. He entered the house without knocking, still undecided.
His sister immediately rushed to meet him, hope and guilt mixing in her face.
"Liam! Please do come in, I'll... get something for you?" Alean looked desperately around the house, seeking something good enough for a noble guest and finding nothing of the kind.
"Have you come to see baby Alysanne?" She asked and when she saw Liam's hard expression, she continued: "Please forgive me. I never wanted to fall out with you, or with father. I never wanted to be disobedient, I just... please forgive me. For the baby's sake if not for mine, I don't want her own family to hate her just for my mistakes. I will never defy you again, I promise..."
This was exactly what Liam had needed. At least his sister knew her place. She looked good, maybe too good with her braided hair for a peasant wife, but her humility suited her much better than her behaviour before her elopement.
"You don't have to be afraid." He said. She knew her place, she begged forgiveness and it was a way of a good and gracious lord to grant it. Let him be magnanimous when it didn't cost him anything.
"Oh, thank you! I knew you would never reject me completely." Alean's face lit up with relief and she moved to pull him into embrace. Liam drew back. It was one thing to show proper lordly generosity and quite another thing to be hugged by a peasant's wife.
"I have come to say father considers you punished enough. He will take no more steps against you." His voice grew cold and harsh again, the mention of his father and punishment calculated to show her the distance that was between them.
Alean stepped back right away and bit her lip.
"I am grateful for that..." She bit her lip again, wondering what to say next. She wanted to throw herself at her brother's feet, but she was afraid of only angering him more. In the end she dropped a small curtsy. "My lord."
Liam looked around the tiny house and saw Dorian, frowning at him from a distance. The awkward almost-hug had destroyed most of his good mood and now seeing the man kindled his anger again. There was someone who seemed to have no intention to apologise whatsoever.
He walked over to the man. "At least your new wife knows her place. Are you going to beg for forgiveness too, peasant? I might even grant it. Or would you prefer to be whipped again? For insolence towards your lord?"
"YOU dare speak about insolence? You barge into MY home, just o insult me and you expect..."
Before Alean managed to break it up, the argument escalated into a shouting match, with both men too proud and angry to stand down.
When Liam finally left, full of new rage at that dirty peasant who had seduced his sister, Dorian looked after him from a window, quietly fuming.
He would get the man one day and wipe that smug grin off his face, he promised himself.
No comments:
Post a Comment