And then he met Leon with his perpetual smile and stories of adventure and romance and it seemed like the perfect solution. If her own children were not enough to bring her back from her ghost world, maybe someone else, someone from the outside, would do it.
When he first invited the man for a visit Delia was more polite then anything else, but Edric could see her growing curious already during this first visit. She was smiling, looking happy for the first time since his father's death, and Leon was more than happy to let her invite him again and again.
It was as if dark clouds had finally parted and she was blinded be the sun. Delia was too surprised by this sudden change, this sudden happiness, that she never thought to ask Leon if she was the only one he was interested in.
Amber would later think she never meant for anything to happen. When she had first flirted with the handsome guest, it was just a game. She had been bored and more than a little bit annoyed by her role and she had been looking for any way to lift her spirits. She had just wanted to steal more smiles than the ageing lady of the manor. But when Leon caught her after dinner, she didn't say no, savouring the feeling of being chosen as the important one.
It was just a game when they kissed in the master bedroom, excited from the danger of being discovered almost as much as from each other's touch and it was still just a game when they fell in the master bed, exploring each other's bodies. Amber didn't mean for any of that to happen. It just did. And if she enjoyed the attention and the soft bed, who could blame her after slaving for the family and receiving no recognition in return?
It was just the one night and then everything was back to the usual routine and being invisible. Leon continued visiting, but only to seduce Delia, the lady, as if the servant girl wasn't even there.
Amber watched her mistress smile again, looking much younger than she really was, and she was secretly angry. Some people just seemed to have everything, money and an endless supply of lovers.
And to make everything even worse, Amber realised that one night had left her pregnant.
She did her best to hide her morning sickness and growing belly from lady Delia, but she knew she would find out eventually. The only question remained when and how. And what she would do afterwards.
Delia would have every right to throw her out of the house, doubly so if she found out about the father of the baby. And even if she dared ask Leon for help, he seemed too taken with Delia to even look at her again.
And what would be left for her then? Go back to her parents in shame? Be given penance like that elfin girl not so long ago, maybe even send to a convent? Amber couldn't even tell which of these options seemed the worst.
She eventually grew desperate enough to approach Leon, thinking he might be the easiest option after all. He rejected her.
Her voice was sweet as honey, but it only seemed to make Leon angrier. It wasn't long since they had exchanged sweet kisses and caresses, since he had lured her into bed, but now he slapped her hand aside with a growl.
To top the utter humiliation, Delia chose this exact moment to walk in. The girl was sure this was the end of everything, that she would be punished and cast out. Amber was too proud to beg, but it took all her willpower not to burst into tears.
And then, to her surprise, she found luck where she had least expected it. Delia looked at the desperate girl before her and suddenly understood all the hiding in her small chamber, her mysterious sickness, her moodiness. And she saw herself in her, when she had been barely grown and pregnant by a man who had a different wife. Delia was even willing to give up her own dream of romance for Leon and Amber to get married, but Leon insisted he had never had any plans with Amber and he wasn't going to start, and Amber was too proud to be an unwanted burden.
And so life continued without any visible change, save Amber's growing belly.
Lucien's birthday came and Edric and Delia did their best to prepare a celebration worthy of a noble's son. There was a cake, there were gifts as lavish as their money allowed, and there were more smiles than felt natural. Delia tried to ignore her grief that had never gone truly away and her disappointment of losing her new romance.
The big house felt empty, though, and a special occasion only made it more visible. Devin and Katharyn had come for a while, but were too busy with their own babies, so were Elena and her husband, and Tristan had outright refused to have anything to do with her and her family.
Delia even caught herself looking forward to Amber's baby being born. Hopefully it would fill the house with noise and make it more like a home.
Amber herself dreaded the birth, which she felt looming above her like a huge dark cloud. She had no particular desire to care for a baby and worried about how much her life would change with one.
When she went in labour, even Delia's promise of help and support didn't do much to calm her. If anything, she was angry she had to be grateful to her.
Amber wasn't sure how exactly her life would change after the baby was born, but the real answer was... not much. Little Lena was as quiet as a baby could possibly be, content to have Amber care for her between serving Delia's family.
Most of the time Amber tried to keep Lena out of sight and out of mind and hope Delia would help if anything was needed.
Most of the time, life continued as if nothing had changed, at least outwardly. But behind the quiet routine Amber was growing increasingly tired and sleepy. She did her best to hide how distracted she was, but she could just hope nobody would notice or mind she did most of her tasks only half as precisely as she should. She really needed a lucky break and had to trust she had it.
And then her luck ran out.
No matter how hard she thought, Amber didn't even know what exactly was wrong with the meal. She might have used some leftovers she should have thrown out, she might have burnt something, but surely she wouldn't make a mistake that would have so dire consequences?
But there were the facts. Edric started feeling sick one day and he said it had to be something he ate. Amber begged him to not point fingers at her and Edric wasn't very eager to show any sign of weakness anyway. He had just been given more trust in his knight training and wanted to keep what he had fought for.
He tried to ignore everything, exerting himself during his training as much as he normally did, trying even harder every time he felt weak.
And then he came home and collapsed.
It came as a complete shock to everyone. Delia and Lucien had no idea anything could be wrong and only found out later, when it was too late for any help.
Delia was at first unable to believe it. She couldn't, it was just too hard to go back to the horror of the dark hooded figure and the grey world it had left behind. Had it all been just a trick? Just borrowed time which was never meant to last? An illusion? Was Edric even actually alive all this time?
She struggled to keep hold on the real world where things still had reasons and made sense and she noticed Amber, standing right next to her and looking devastated. And had Edric not said something about some food tasting funny?
Just this vague memory was enough to replace her shock and grief with anger. She launched herself at Amber, screaming something about it all being her fault.
Amber took a step back, unable to respond, and Delia only took it as an admission of guilt. For a while she could have strangled Amber with her bare hands, but than the brief flash of energy faded and she was just crushed and full of grief again.
"Get out of here. Now. Both of you. I never want to see you again." She said and burst into tears.
Amber was too devastated with guilt to argue, to plead for another chance. She just took Lena and fled the house in panic before Delia could drag her before the court.
Once again Delia sunk into a deep depression and left Lucien to deal with everything. Unlike ambitious Edric, Lucien enjoyed the comfort of nobility more than any responsibility. To organise his brother's funeral and take care of his mother was the last thing he wanted to do, but he tried.
He even invited Tristan to the manor, hoping to make peace and maybe get him to help. But Tristan laughed at Lucien's face.
"Your brother and you have humiliated me, laughed at me behind my back and now you want me to do your dirty work? Unless you make me the heir, with the title and manor, you can just forget it."
"But... I just wanted..." Lucien stopped when he realised how stupid would something like "to be friends" sound. He had thought Tristan would jump at this chance and his cold refusal threw him completely off script.
"Forget it. I have my pride. I'm done with you."
Tristan turned and left, before he could change his mind. He was still living in a stupid shack and lady Nadine was married and unlikely to elevate him much, but he would rather wait for Lucien to die and leave him as lord Adrian's only surviving son than work for him. Especially if there was no guarantee it would even bring him anything.
The funeral was simpler than would be expected for a young lord, but Delia didn't really care. What use would be ceremonies when they couldn't bring her loved ones back?
She started spending more and more time near the graves of her son and husband, somehow feeling more grounded and at peace there. Somehow she felt more real with the dead than in the world of the living, which had failed her just when she was starting to believe happiness was possible.
