He knew the Fae had magic from the very first, even before he remembered anything more about the blue light. He still wasn't sure what kind of magic exactly, what were their limits, but clearly they were capable of changing people. And the rest he would find out.
He just hoped they wouldn't find out he had stolen a piece of their magic for himself, not before he could learn everything he could. He was sure if he had enough time he could fix everything that was wrong with his new life.
Alysanne wanted to have a long talk with Devin, but her health didn't let her. When she had first became sick, she didn't take much notice of it, too worried about her daughter and grandsons to care about herself. But then Tomas got ill as well, her own cough refused to go away and she grew more and more worried. And partly relieved that Devin spent all his time hidden away somewhere.
She was hoping it would pass, hoping magic would return to her mysterious grandmother's soup recipe, but she was still glad that Devin at least would be safe.
As autumn turned into winter, the sickness grew worse until Tomas was bedridden and Alysanne hardly found the strength to do the most necessary chores. Devin helped in those few moments he dared emerge from the shed where he had started spending his nights as well as his days, but he was so lost in his thoughts, he never noticed how bad it really was.
And then, one day Tomas didn't wake up.
At first, Alysanne couldn't really believe it. She had... not exactly expected, but definitely been worried about both of them dying, but when the moment came it still felt strangely final. The sun was shining outside on a world that was going on with its life... and her husband was lying dead in his bed and their son didn't even know. It broke her spirit.
After that, nothing made sense to her anymore. Why would she even get out of bed, when the whole world didn't make sense? Even her children seemed to be far away, almost impossible to reach, with lives that had no place for her any more.
If there was anything left for her to do than follow her husband, she didn't see it and had no energy to look.
Devin only learned about his parents' death hours later and was devastated. If only he had known... if only he had noticed how serious it was, he could have helped. He was sure he had learned enough to make any illness go away. The thought that he had been too encased in his new magic to actually use it was almost too much to bear.
He tried to move into the house, but it was only a few hours until he fled back to his shed. It was too much to take.
He expected feeling lonely, but the house itself was whispering accusations in every creak of the door and in every gust of wind heard through the roof. And he could even see his parents themselves, as clearly as he could see anything else in the house. Walking around the house, dying before his eyes, over and over again.
The quiet funeral Devin had arranged did nothing to put their spirits to rest... or do the same to his conscience, which was haunting him the most.
Katharyn came by almost every night and did her best to console him and Devin was sure she was the only reason he was still holding on to his sanity.
When she was with him he couldn't see or feel any ghosts around. Any except himself. When she was there he could pretend he was still living at the house, even though he wouldn't bear to stay long after she left. In her arms he felt safe and warm and almost real.
It was Katharyn who convinced him to visit his parents' graves, to at least say goodbye if he didn't want to pray. When she sensed his fear, she even accompanied him there so that he would have someone by his side when he would face his grief. She watched him as he wept and for the first time since his parents died he could cry real cleansing tears.
And then she hugged him and walked with him home, not speaking but her presence meaning more to him than any mere words ever could.
He always wished she could stay until sunrise, when he would go to his coffin to surrender himself to mercifully dreamless sleep. He wished she could stay forever and he would never be alone again, how even if she were to grow old with him, how many years would he have left in his unaging body? Even her staying a single full night would mean fully admitting what he was and he couldn't do that. Not now.
They had no real future together, he was sure of that. As much as he wanted to be with her, Katharyn had her own family to go home to. One that was alive and uncursed.
For the first time since he was transformed, Devin was seeing his condition as a true curse. It had taken his parents from him and it wouldn't allow him to truly be with his love.
And finally he decided exactly what he wanted to find in his stolen book of magic. He had been looking for ways to allow him to age and walk in the sun, but what he really needed was to go back to where had had been before. Back when he and Katharyn were truly happy and there was nothing between them.
It was either this or become one of the ghosts.
To completely reverse something was easier than change its conditions, but it still took him long until he figured it out. Or maybe it just felt like a long time, but after he had decided every moment spent as a monster was suddenly agony.
But finally all preparation was finished and he had a vial with what he hoped would transform him back to how he used to be. As he held it in his hand it felt most fitting to take it to his parents' graves. He wanted them to witness what should be the beginning of his new life. There was no way he could ever apologise for not being there for them, but he would do everything in his power to make it right again.
He took a deep breath and downed the potion in one gulp, sending a quick prayer to whoever would listen that it would work.
At first he didn't feel anything, but before the thought he must have made mistake managed to fully form, he screamed in shock and pain. It was as if someone lit a fire inside him, a fire which continued to spread through his whole body and grow in intensity. It was as if he was being turned inside out and wasn't sure his body could take it.
He didn't know how long it lasted, but eventually the pain passed and he collapsed on the ground, gasping for breath. Even getting up seemed too hard at that moment, be was alive and he felt somehow cleansed.
It was already dawn when he managed to finally get his body under control, and just seeing the sun rise and feel it on his skin made him almost forget the horrible ordeal he had just been through. He had been too long in the dark and as he was walking home through the woods, he felt he was finally coming back into the light. And he couldn't wait to see Katharyn again.
He had never told her anything specific, but Katharyn would have to be blind to not see and worry. The many small changes in Devin's habits and general demeanour spoke all too clearly. She didn't know what to believe, what to expect or even hope for, but when Devin came to her during the day, looking tired but way healthier than in a long time, it was the best surprise she could imagine.
He invited her to his house for a meal, just beaming with joy at everything. He looked as if he hadn't sat at his own table and eaten a simple meal in ages. The food showed it had been cooked by someone without much experience, but Devin's appetite itself made it taste great.
And after they had eaten he went down on his knee before her and asked her to marry him. She thought it was enough just to see her love healthy again, but the simple ring made her heart almost burst with joy. She just stood there, not even breathing and completely unable to speak.
Devin watched her stare in shock and his face fell. "Is it too soon? Is it me? Am I..."
His puppy-like uncertainty finally made her move. She hugged Devin tight, whispering yes over and over again in his ear. "Yes... yes, my love... yes, of course."
And it was "Yes, of course" for everything else as well. It almost scared Devin how fast and easy everything was, from Katharyn's answer to the moment they were kneeling before a priest, ready to be joined in marriage.
They both wanted to do everything right, to start their new life together with the blessing of both the Watcher and the people. Devin just hoped and prayed it wasn't too easy to be true. He hoped he wasn't still a monster inside, something that would deserve to be rejected by the Watcher and by Katharyn. He was trying hard not to think of Alaine and failing.
And then came the time for the final vows and a single look in Katharyn's face made Alaine's vanish from his mind. She was his light. If anyone could redeem him, she would. And he would do everything to make her happy every day of her life, to never let her light disappear.
When he recited his vows, it was from the depth of his heart and he meant every word.
Devin believed those vows were a magic spell, much more powerful than any Fae magic could ever be.
It didn't take long before Katharyn was expecting a child and it was then that Devin fully realised his new life wasn't some kind of a dream. Even unborn, the baby was undoubtedly real. He could see it in the glow in Katharyn's face and feel it when he touched her belly.
They discussed possible names, trying and rejecting each one and it felt frivilous, like a spoilt noblewoman would try on expensive silk gowns, and they felt richer than kings. But whatever they baby would be called, for Devin it was hope made flesh, an anchor tying him forever to his newfound happiness.
And then the big day actually came and Devin's worries returned with a vengeance. As much as he tried to tell himself Katharyn would be fine, that she was strong and had a midwife to assist her, her screams were almost too much to bear.
He didn't even know how long it took when every minute felt like hours to him, but finally it was all over. When the midwife told him he had a son and a daughter, two healthy babies instead of one, he couldn't believe it at first. Even when one of the babies was placed in his arms he could just stare. They had talked about so many names, but now he couldn't remember a single one of them.
