Forming of resistance

There's a rumor spreading all around
We're on the way
To a change of setting, homeward bound
Autumn day

'Cause indoor we will light the fire
Light the fires of hope
Lost between the mountain and the sun
Caught the high emotion by the setting sun

(Clannad: Indoor)

Dear diary,When I look back, it's hard to believe it all happened just in a few weeks. Our lives have changed completely and with every passing day I think even more that they're never going to be the same again. It all looks like a dream or story from an old book, exept this it real.
But I think I should rather start at the beginning...

Erin was looking out of the window, thinking of her father and older brother. They were away for so long... or at least it seemed long, without her getting any news from them. It was true that she was told no news were good news, but Erin suspected someone is trying to hide the news from her. And why would anyone do that if they were good? Erin was very worried and there was nothing to calm her.

She tried to speak to Torrin, her younger brother about her fears, but he didn't seem to understand at all.
"Don't worry, Erin. Everything will be all right, you'll see. You can't believe the old stories, bard were often exaggeraing to make their heroes even more heroic."
"Yes, but..." Erin started to reply, but Torrin pretended not to hear.


Time passed and still there were no news from the battlefield. At least no news for Erin. Torrin definitely knew more, but he refused to tell his sister. And the only result of all her asking was that he tried to prevent talking about the situation completely. The bigger was then Erin's surprise when Torrin one day started by himself.

"Erin? We need to talk."
"Yes? What's the matter?"
"You know that the situation is like, don't you..." Torrin started
"No, I don't. You never told me anything."
"Anyway, prince Sheridan decided to..." Torrin stopped for a moment, trying to find the
right words, "...to try to find a new land for us... and maybe even some help in the war..."

"Do you mean he's going away?" Erin frowned "Now?"
"Yes, it's... necessary. And I'm going with him."
"Are you serious? You can't do that! What if..."
"It's the best thing to do, Erin. And it will be a great adventure. To find Erethia..."
"What? But Erethia doesn't exist! And you told me you're going to find some help. There's
nothing on the west, just..."
"Just a land without an owner, waiting for us to take, you mean? And who knows, we COULD
find a help there." Torrin replied.

"But... but you can't leave me alone here, with the war going on and..."
"I have to go. I'm Sheridan's friend and he asked me to. And you won't be here alone for
long. Our father and Finn will be back soon, don't worry."
"What if they don't return?" asked Erin, but she was speaking only to a closed door.

Torrin left, despite everything Erin made to make him change his mind and left his sister alone in the castle.
She was very scared, but she decided to defend the castle alone, if she had to. She didn't want to leave her home, and home of her ancestors for many generations back. And, after all, if she did leave it, there would be nothing between her and the war raging outside. She prepared to fight, decided to try everything she could learn from old stories to help her to resist successfully.

And then, as she was preparing for siege, Finn came back. He was alone and looked horrible,
but Erin was delighted to see him.


"Oh, Finn, I was so afraid..." she whispered as she embraced him tightly. "But what happened? You look terrible." she asked, but she immidiately realized that asking
questions on the doorstep, with Finn looking as tired as he did wasn't the most polite thing to do.

They went inside, sat on a bench and then Erin turned to her brother with much curiosity in
her eyes.
"Now tell me everything, please."
Finn sighed. "I wish I had beter news for you, Erin. The war is over. We lost." he paused for a moment and then he continued, "We were heavily outnumbered and bravery isn't enough when the enemy has much more man and better weapons and armour... The king died when leading us to the fight. And our father..."

"Aberdeen is... conquered? And we have no king now? And... our father... dead?" Erin couldn't believe what she had just heard.
"No king? There is prince Sheridan. He will now.." started Finn, but Erin interrupted him.
"Sheridan is gone. He went to the west. And Torrin with him. Oh, Finn, what shall we do
now?" Erin blinked, trying not to cry. She admired Finn and wanted to be as brave
as he was.
"There are some men like me, who survived the war and don't want to like under Adalbert of Eberhad. We're going to live in hiding and..."
"And fight against the usurper?" Erin asked"
"If we're strong enough one day, then yes. but until that time we will lust live... and be free. I came for you... and Torrin, but if he isn't here... Do you want to join us?" Finn asked.

"Of course I do. But why don't we stay here and defend the castle?"
"We would soon be under siege and we can't defend ourselves against the whole army. We must hide. That's our only chance."

At that time it seemed so romantic. Freedom in a forest, being real outlaws and fighting bravery against the usurper... It was like something from old stories that Erin loved so much.
She was very excited about what they're going to do when she helped Finn pack everything they might need. She was very excited when she met Finn's friends and when they built a camp. But, as weeks slowly turned to months, her excitement begun to fade.



Erin had always loved romantic stories and this seemed like one of them, but when reading stories, Erin was always safe, warm and had plenty of food. And when she tried to tell Finn she expected more adventures than just hiding from everyone, he only said: "This is no adventure story, Erin. This is the real thing and I hope you're old enough to understand that."
He didn't say, but Erin could very well read it from his eyes, that he had many problems and doesn't need to attend to a child who's too much interested in stories.

...and so, dear diary, I've decided to change. I'll do everything to make Finn proud of me, happy that he has me here. I promise you that.
Erin